Tree of Life - rather than hauling out the decorations I chose to create a simple symbol of Christmas. Twigs were cut from the dormant tree in the front yard and wrapped with clear lights. I like it so much that it's now become a permanent fixture in a some-what dark corner in the living room.
It's been quite awhile since I've posted a new entry here. The season between Thanksgiving and Christmas threatened to bring me down and I nearly did cave! It's only a few days into the "New Year" and I find that I'm reluctant to wish anyone a happy new year. New year? The days seems to always present the same kind of circumstances as the previous ones so how can one put an end to something one day and a mere few hours later assume that there will magically be a shift and everything will suddenly be different. That doesn't make sense. I've tried it and it doesn't work! It makes more sense to believe that my life is what it is and do the best that I can with each day. A new beginning can start at any time not just when a date on the calendar changes.
A "friend" recently informed me that I always seem to talk about the negative things in my life, or that everything seems to be negative. I was taken aback! I report or observe what happens in my life and yes I do talk about the events, but as I just mentioned, my life is what it is and how can I be glowing and joyful when nothing of that sort happens? Of course there are happy moments and great things that happen and I talk about those as well. I'm always amazed, well actually shocked, over how many health issues continue to plague my family. They are what they are and you either accept the bad and rocky things that happen and continue to put one foot in front of the other or you allow them to make your life so miserable that you end up in a depressed state. There are many days of frustration but I've never been depressed or given up on life. Yes, I often wake up in the middle of night so much in pain that I curse! But I think that cursing is a way of fighing back.
Christmas was a bit strange this year. My daughter, SIL and grandson usually come here but this year my daughter is very pregnant so we made plans to drive to Redondo Beach which is about 7 hours from here. I haven't driven that far in years and being that Mom is no longer up to driving distances the pressure built! There was word about colds in my daughter's house and that should have been the sign I paid attention to, but not wanting to let everyone down I preserved. The morning of Dec. 22 was bleak with rain threatening to deluge us like it had the night before. We started out at 9:30 and made it to the first rest area about 2.5 hours later without incident. Right after that stop dense fog surrounded us just as we were beginning the part of Hwy. 101 that I've always hated ever since I saw a car spin out of control and nearly go over the cliff during a heavy rain! Everyone drives that steep climb and descent too fast! The fog prevented that from happening which might have been a good thing. I had been worried about rain so my prayers had been about that when they should have been about clear skies! The fog didn't let up for the rest of the trip, but at least it wasn't as dense as it was over that incline.
I phoned my daughter when we got onto the 405 which is about 20 minutes to her house but we didn't pull into the drive-way for 2 hours! How anyone stays sane in that kind of evening traffic is beyond me. Mom took Stacy to the dialysis clinic the next day, Friday, and we all took naps. I was proud of the fact that I had made the drive, but on that day I couldn't see how it was possible for me to get us home! Exhaustion and pain were running around a 9 on the scale from 1-10! Christmas Eve day was interesting. My daughter started out the day with a visit to the hospital because the bed was wet in the morning and after losing a baby in her 8th month 2 years ago none of us are calm. She was having constractions, which was a suprise to her, and I've never prayed so hard for pee in my life! My prayers were answered! It wasn't amniotic fluid but yes her coughing had probably been the cause of the pee . . . She was giving a shot to stop the contractions and thankfully it worked! The baby isn't due until Feb. 14th.
We all took naps again, that is everyone except my SIL who was in charge of dinner and putting together a a battery operated Jeep from Santa Claus. I don't think that any of us were really awake that evening when we opened gifts and ate a fabulous brisket dinner which could have been why Mom, Stacy and I turned in at 8:30. Though, I knew that I wasn't feeling well and as it turned out neither was Mom.
We left at 9:30 Christmas morning, Sunday, and I got us home under 6 hours! Mom was pretty much a slug and Stacy slept most of the way home. Stacy was worn out from playing with Jack who was 4 yesterday! I can not believe that I have a 4-year-old grandson! The rain started about 45 minutes from home and stopped when we got home only to start about an hour later and continue on through the night and into the next day. I guess that my prayers about no rain for the trip were mostly answered.
Monday morning I knew that I would be taking Stacy to the dialysis clinic because Mom had looked and sounded awful the night before. I was right! Yesterday I finally convinced Mom to go to the doctor and after a week of coughing nearly non-stop she finally agreed. Bronchitis was the verdict when she had assumed that she must have pneumonia. And so the "New Year" has begun on the same note it ended. Worrying about Stacy's high BP, Mom's cough, taking care of my cold, yep, I did end up with a cold which is unusual for me as I rarely get anything that my body hasn't manufactured on its own, and hoping that my daughter doesn't go into labor until I can get down there again!
