Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Guardian


I think that I need to memorize the following quote:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every morning I wake up feeling as if I'm at war. The battle being fought is a health issue one and the symptoms are winning! Each day is started with energy-deficit and once the chronic pain is ascertained all I want to do is stay in bed forever! The added stress over Stacy's elevated blood pressure, seizures and renal failure are factored into the day the second she wakes up and then I know for certain that I don't want to face yet another day. And everyone wonders why I don't welcome morning phone calls!

It takes a lot of "self-talk" to turn the day around and there are days when the effort is more than I can handle such as in the case of the current migraine-from-hell-attack that is in its tenth day. At best my brain functions in a pretty dense fog but when a migraine hits a level of 8-10 the brain cells stop functioning and I find that I can't make sense of the world around me, nor do I want to even try.

Fortunately, I've discovered that when my brain has left the planet, and the pain is below an 8, I seem to be able to sit at the computer and manipulate photos. I have no idea how I've gotten to the end result, but at least the hours don't drag endlessly on. That is if vertigo hasn't taken hold making even the thought of a looking at computer screen enough to turn me green.

"The Guardian" is from a photograph I took a few months ago at the mission in San Juan Bautista. I have no idea who the statue is of, (should have taken notes) but he has the look of a guardian about him.