It's been nearly a year since I posted on this blog! I have tried to keep from blathering on about the health issues on the Expression Studio blog, but they're starting to creep in. So, perhaps I should start up this blog again. Life has changed a lot in the last year! We moved from the Monterey Peninsula to the desert in southern Calif. I can't seem to get my bearings and lately I find that I'm in such a major funk that having a cold is a relief! I don't have to do anything if I'm ill! I've often thought that I keep busy creating small works of art, gardening, running errands etc in order to face my life and when things slow down life smacks me in the face! It's not that I'm terribly unhappy living here, after all I have a new house!, but I don't think I would have chosen to live here given the opportunity to slowly make the decision. The price was right, the location fairly close to my daughter and SIL and two fabulous grandsons, that is if one considers a 2.5 hour drive on freeways close! The dry climate seems to be better for the fibromyalgia, and mom is able to live with us a little longer! But I've never felt so alone nor have I had to take care of so many things like finding doctors and making financial decisions on my own! I want to bury myself in a cocoon of self-pity and cry until there aren't any tears left, but I don't have that luxury! Mom, diagnosed in November with Alzheimer's, asks the same thing over and over and can't keep straight what day it is and when we discovered on Tuesday that her doctor had passed away over the weekend she stewed and fretted so much that it took all of my strength to not shout, "I'll take care of finding another doctor, like I take care of everything else!" Mom couldn't figure out what to do and repeated, "so what do I do now? Who is going to find another doctor for me?" and on and on. Mom's prescriptions were waiting to be renewed at the pharmacy so it was paramount that I find a doctor! All of the referral lists I researched pointed in the same direction as they had when I was looking for an internist for Stacy. Fortunately the office manager at Dr. D's office understood immediately that I needed to have an appointment for mom at the same time Stacy has with him next Thursday. The delicate situation of telling Dr. D. about mom's condition is going to be tricky. I can't blame for not wanting to admit to having Alzheimer's when the prognosis is so crappy, so I wish it was already the day after the appointment! The pharmacist took care of having the prescriptions renewed when I was able to say that mom had an appointment with a new doctor. So, now mom has stopped fretting and has moved on to, or back to, wanting to know why no one has come out to give us a bid for a front gate.
Mom has paranoia which seems to be one factor of Alzheimer's and constantly believes that someone enters her room to rearrange her things. She misplaced her jewelry box and wallet so often when we first moved here that it nearly drove us both nuts. She wanted to call the police but I felt that certain that no one had been in her tidy room! Nothing was out of place and if anything mom is now tidier than she ever was. The Virgo in her seems to be the driving force behind the daily rearranging of objects that she has no memory of doing. At least for the last two months she leaves her wallet in her purse and found a place under her night stand for her jewelry box. She didn't feel that either was safe so kept moving them around. The last time I located her jewelry box she had placed it in a drawer along side paper-back books thinking that no one would notice it there. She was right! At first glance I didn't see it either. Her jewelry is only worth something to her and of no market value, but the thought of losing it was more than she could stand.
Back to the gate. It's her belief that she'll feel safe if there is a gate at the entrance and maybe it will help. The casita is separate from the house but the entrance to it faces Stacy's bedroom and we thought that would help make her secure. In hindsight we should probably have opted for a 3 bedroom house rather than a two and a separate casitia, but after years of mom saying that she wanted a guest house if we were to move . . . The bedrooms in the houses in the complex are guest size being that this is an over 55 + complex, so a bedroom would have been rather small for her things. Stacy fits fine in the front "guest room" and the master bedroom and bath is perfect for my studio/office/bedroom space. The walk-in closet became storage space for my art supplies and the small closet, that is probably the one men end up with, is almost large enough for my pitiful wardrobe! And I have the luxury of an over-sized garage to store more supplies along with being able to work in! There is a sink in the garage and my SIL bought and set-up lots of cabinets and shelves on 3 sides of the garage and then went into shock when I immediately filled them! I hadn't had a garage in over 30 years so where in the world had I stored everything?! I have no idea seeing how the house I moved from only had one bedrooom plus a small office size room where my art supplies resided. On our walks around the complex I marvel when I see people's garages that are nearly empty; what boring lives they must lead!!
I just caught the end of "Love Actually" on USA! I've been searching for the DVD for weeks and then I miss it on TV! I have no idea why, but the film gives me great comfort. Happily "Notting Hill" followed "Love Actually" which I find to be another comforting film. Stacy watches "Full House" DVD's over and over at the dialysis clinic on her personal DVD player because they are comforting to her. It's odd to me, being that I'm a huge fan of reading mysteries, that films like "Love Actually" are at the top of my favorites list.
